Being recently inspired by this article at the SMH about spamming the spammers, and after reading another about Delhi call centers I felt inspired to get my own back at telemarketers from India.
The telephone conversation went something like this:
phone: ring ring ring... [I was already annoyed because most calls i get during the day are wrong numbers and telemarketers]
Denzil: Hello... hello...??
[pause] <-- this is the tell tale signature of a call center... (read the above article)
Denzil: Hello. City Morgue. Can I help you?
phone: [pause] hello?
Denzil: yeah.. hello.. City Morgue, what can I do for ya? You got a dead body?
phone: Is that Mr XXXXXX...?
Denzil: Nah mate.. its Jimbo... at the City Morgue. We got dead bodies here. You got a dead one? Thats our job.
phone: Can I speak to Mr XXXXX??
Denzil: Its the Morgue mate. Who am I talking to? Whats your name?
phone: I think I have the wrong number...
Denzil: Where are you calling from? You got a dead body? You got a cold one do ya?
The poor guy was totally and utterly confused. Totally threw him a curve ball that he couldn't recover from.
I remember reading another one about some guy pretending to be the police. So when the telemarketer calls they enter a "crime scene" and the call center becomes part of the investigation. hahaha.
I swear I probably should start recording these...
Technorati Tags: telemarketing, Call Center
3 comments:
HAHAHA dammit uncie you're the best!
Speaking of them idi telemarketers, I also got a phone call from em today. Like "We want to give you a gift for helping us out last yr" and I'm like "... we've just moved in, you're calling the wrong person"// "no it doesn't matter. We wanna give you a new mobile phone for free and vouchers to holiday accomodation. You will need to sign up for a plan with the phone for $39 per month"... "Er no thanks, I hate plans, I prefer prepaid. Thanks for your time" <--- STUPID IDIS!!!
Is this what your looking for Denzil?
The phone rang as I was sitting down to my evening meal, and as I answered it I was greeted with "Is this Karl Brummer", Not sounding anything like my name.
I asked who is calling. The telemarketer said he was with The Rubber Band Powered Freezer Company, or something like that.
Then I asked him if he knew Karl personally and why was he calling this number.
I then said off to the side, "get some pictures of the body at various angles, and the blood smears". Then I turned back to the phone and advised the caller that he had entered a murder scene and must stay on the line because we had already traced this call and he would be receiving a summons to testify in this murder case.
I questioned the caller at great length as to his name, address, phone number at home, at work, who he worked for, how he knew the dead guy and could he prove where he had been about one hour before he made this call.
The telemarketer was getting very concerned and his answers were given in a shaky voice. I then told him we had located his position and the police were entering the building to take him into custody, at that point I heard the phone fall and the scurrying of his running away.
My wife asked me as I returned to our table why I had tears streaming down my face and so help me, I couldn't tell her for about fifteen minutes. My meal was cold, but it was the best meal in a long, long time.
Use it wisely Denzil
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